F&%k'd Up Messy Bun

Sometimes we get caught up in who we think we should be and we loose track of who we are. Fact: Mental health has suffered because of social media. It effects me and if it effects you keep reading. You're not alone...

#Twinning Messy Bun

How to be Instagram worthy:

So first you quit your job, full time or part time doesn't matter — Instagram is your new job. You go buy a new wardrobe and you hire a full time photographer and social media manager who engage for you 45 hours a day ( I know impossible, but they are the best so it happens) and you just sit in all your Insta-fam! JUST KIDDING. That is what I think I might need to do though in order to make it in this blogging thing.

Here is what I actually do:

I swear that I spend hours before I post on Instagram thinking about what to post, trying to look like the best version of myself, editing my photos, retaking photos.... all of the things just to appear as "Instagram Kendall".

As I just retook a photo 5 times with the self timer just to take one with a filter to feel prettier I realized this is not what I want. I see Instagram feeds that look so polished and have so much content, making it look effortless— I think to myself "I want to look like that"... I have realized that we make time for the things that matter.

The day I couldn't get out of bed messy bun:

Does it matter to you what you look like on Instagram? Do you have two personalities, Instagram you and then YOU?

How to we fix this? Is this really just Instagram? Sometimes I tone down my personality or outfits because I want people to look at me a certain way.. And for what?

I think it takes so much more energy to be someone we are not that we loose who we love to be.

So I pose this question: How do you be the best version of yourself? Here is how I have been doing it... or trying to.

Instagram Kendall:

I get up early every morning, get a cup of coffee, do yoga, meditate, write in my journal, and then get ready and have a great day!

Severe Migraine Hair Do

Here is what actually happens:

I wake up my hair is in a f$*k'd up messy bun, my eyes burn because its 6am and I am trying to be a morning person so I drink 3 cups of coffee while I sit in bed on TikTok for an hour. Then once I realize I will be late if I don't get up flop around on my yoga mat (and call it yoga), scribble who I want to be in my journal, I get in the shower, contemplate life, get ready, eat, and then go sit at a desk for 8 hours. When I get home I am on 2% and end up eating avocado toast for dinner and then I shower, attempt to feel human again, shame myself for feeling unaccomplished then I go to bed and do it again on Tuesday.

Now 2021 Kendall has really been trying to fix this, she really has, but I am just being candid here.


I don't know if this is just ADHD me? Does anyone else feel this way?

I don't enjoy Monday morning coffee because I know that I am only drinking to wake up and pay rent. Now with all of that being said I am so grateful and I do want to be better, we just need to learn to do it on our terms.

I have tried to make this normal for myself. I am trying to realize that I (you, me, anyone) can only be happy and fulfilled if we take a step (or 10) back and think about what makes us happy and implement THAT into our lives.

So what makes you happy? Here is a list of SHIT I LOVE:

  1. Sunday morning coffee

  2. When house plants grow because you did that shit!

  3. Falling asleep on the couch when you watch a movie

  4. Sweating on a trail when you are on a walk/hike

  5. Getting a new sweater that makes you feel cute AND comfy

  6. Checking things off a checklist

  7. Talking to strangers

  8. Sunsets from an airplane window seat

  9. Wearing floppy brim hats

  10. Putting money into a savings account

  11. When someone asks "Where did you get that? I love it!"

  12. When someone buys someone coffee

  13. Full gas tanks

  14. Sand between your toes at the ocean

  15. Polaroid pictures

  16. Dogs with big tongues

  17. Babies with long eyelashes

  18. When you learn something new

  19. Finding new coffee shops

  20. When you make someone smile

  21. Driving with the windows down

Vacation Messy Bun With My Nephew

I yearn for my soul to be on fire. Do you? How do we set our souls on fire?

Comment the small joys you have! Or the SHIT YOU LOVE. Let's post that on Instagram?