I got an inquiry from a photographer that I worked with in Paris, telling me that her senior team girls seem to be lacking independence. This might be independence or maybe it is confidence.. The plain fact is that it is kind of hard to be a teenage girl! Girls are mean, it is hard to find good girl friends, and escaping the drama can seem impossible. High school kicked my ass man and it can be hard to gain confidence.
I want to discuss:
-the importance of confidence and independence
-steps to start growing
Firstly, I want to discuss the importance of self confidence and the benefits that being independent can give you. So independence gives you more confidence. You don't need permission or to wait for someone else, you just act. Now being dependent is not a bad thing in all aspects of life and maybe sometimes you just need a little extra support, I mean we're only human after all! Independence can reduce stress and improve overall happiness. To me this means that I can focus on myself, less drama reduces stress and definitely improves happiness. I'm still learning to 1. LET THAT SHIT GO 2. No person is worth living a toxic/negative life for, in any way.
Being independent can help you make better decisions and become a better decision maker. This sounds small and obvious, but if you think about it, personally or someone you know; how easily can you make decisions, be confident in that choice, and stick with it. Independence can provide you with the structure to make you decisions free of outside influence. It will also help you in your career, being assertive rather than passive.
This all seems so obvious, but the photographer who reached out to me said that she gave her team an opportunity to go to a photoshoot in another state and they all refused because "they would never do anything by themselves". What a great opportunity to pass up!!
Confidence is beneficial in all aspects of life. This will raise your happiness levels, improve your performance, socially, at work, in school, anything. I think something that comes with confidence is really not caring what other people think about you and really just embracing who you are. If you can't be yourself, that isn't really living!
So you are probably thinking, "okay yeah it's really not that easy". But it can be. Long term goals and short terms goals are a great way to start this!
SOOO... Short term goals to reduce stress, improve confidence, gain independence:
-Go out to eat by yourself (or a movie)
-Get off social media (Maybe limit yourself everyday, on iphones there is a screen time feature, try beating the week before with reduction in average phone usage)
-Try reading a book instead of going on social media
-Set goals for yourself
-Use a planner, this will make you more organized and some planners help with personal growth as well!
1. Visualize yourself as you want to be
2. Affirm yourself
3. Do one thing that scares you every week
4. Help someone else (maybe random act of kindness or volunteer)
5. Create personal boundaries
Long term goals:
These are probably more successful as personalized goals, but you could make a long term goal to
-delete one social media account for good
-travel by yourself
-wear something out of your comfort zone
-find a new hobby
-try a new class
-check off a bucket list item
If you can afford it: I recently got an apple watch (or fit bit) and it gives you different fitness goals to reach everyday, and just by "closing the circle" as they call it, it makes me feel so good about myself. It also counts your steps which I love knowing
It can be hard to be comfortable in your own skin in a world that is so judgmental and harsh.. Today I want you to know that it will get better, you can take small steps to improve your happiness today. DM me if you want to talk. Life is hard, but also beautiful!!
(That is you, when you delete social media and stop caring what other people are doing/thinking)